Mommy & Daddy - What Is The Function?
The Futureheads - First Day
Youth Movie Soundtrack Strategy - The If Works
Ex-Models - The Idea Of Peter North
Relaxed Muscle - Sexualised
Kenosha / The Black Helicopters / The Tennessee Traincrash demos

 

Hello chaps, my name is Lord Shuteye. Every so often I'll treat you to another installment from my memoirs 'The Japes Of Wrath'. Read on dear friends....

Evening, readers!

Well, thank the celestial being that the nights are at last drawing in.
Nothing one likes better than the timely seasonal reminder of one's tenuous mortality and impending doom, what?
Must remember to send a note to the Incident about me Christmas hamper. Young Ieuan has promised us a treat for the Wrath Noel Nosh-up. He calls it the Darwin Delight. Apparently, it represents the entire food chain beautifully crafted into one succulent dish. In so far as I grasp the concept, what we have is a snail, stuffed inside a partridge, stuffed inside a lynx, stuffed inside a Canadian wolf, stuffed inside a specially bred carnivorous wildebeest, stuffed inside a lion. All hand-reared free-range on the estate mind, so there should be no trouble from the demmned animal rights lobby. Sounds delicious, don't it?

Of course, Wrath Towers houses more than its fair quota of those of the vegetarian persuasion, arty types and so forth, so a selection of seasonal vegetables will be provided from our extensive allotments for the bleating hippies.

Now then, I know many of you have been eagerly awaiting news appertaining to the appointment of my new valet. Alas, the response has been cursedly meagre. I can only ascribe this to the recent Trafalgar Day celebrations, which rendered all suitable candidates blind drunk on grog for the entire month.
I did receive a brace of solicitous letters of introduction, but I gave the blackguards short shrift, I can tell you . "Dear _, why the hell aren't you blind drunk on grog, you snivelling miscreant?" That's the ticket for soup!
By the same token, vague word reached me as to the signing of new talent to the formidable Wrath roster.
The Piskie Sits? The Playmates? Unfortunately, I've yet to make their acquaintance either, and I'll tell you why...
Upon hearing that the cheque book was open, I at once seized upon the notion of having a crack at the old tinpan alley malarkey off me own bat, so to speak. I've picked up a few tips vis a vis the music game in my tenure as benign autocrat here at the Towers, so I thought I'd put quill to parchment and whip up a quick redondilla or two, perhaps a nice quartorzain incorporating a crafty curtal sonnet as a middle eight - you know the type of thing. So, picture the scene as I reclined at my mahogany bureau in the scriptorium, duly composing, when in saunters Paul Morricone.

"What ho, Shuteye" says he," what the devil are you about?"

"Strange to relate," says I, " I was just working on my new foray into the shady realms of the popular music milieu."

"Indeed?" says he, a derisive smirk fleeting across his carrot munching jaw. "Pray, give us a brief recitation."

"My pleasure. Ahem:

"Here comes Morricone
He's a bumpkin Macaroni.
He's the leader of the band,
With a turnip in his hand
And a face like guaca...oof!!!"

Still - quality linen here in the infirmary, and some deuced attractive nurses to boot. Just the job until I get some decent applicants for the man servant post.

Chin Chin!

Lord Shuteye

Archive:

Japes Of Wrath - Aug 05

Japes Of Wrath - July 05

Japes Of Wrath - July 04

Japes Of Wrath - Apr 04

Japes Of Wrath - Feb04

Japes Of Wrath - Jan 04