|Rene les Flames! on t'stereo:
Mommy & Daddy - What Is The Function?
The Futureheads - First Day
Youth Movie Soundtrack Strategy - The If Works
Ex-Models - The Idea Of Peter North
Relaxed Muscle - Sexualised
Kenosha / The Black Helicopters / The Tennessee Traincrash demos
chaps, my name is Lord Shuteye.
so often I'll treat you to another installment from my memoirs 'The
Japes Of Wrath'. Read on dear friends....
Well, thank the celestial being that the nights are at last drawing in.
Nothing one likes better than the timely seasonal reminder of one's tenuous
mortality and impending doom, what?
Must remember to send a note to the Incident about me Christmas hamper.
Young Ieuan has promised us a treat for the Wrath Noel Nosh-up. He calls
it the Darwin Delight. Apparently, it represents the entire food chain
beautifully crafted into one succulent dish. In so far as I grasp the
concept, what we have is a snail, stuffed inside a partridge, stuffed
inside a lynx, stuffed inside a Canadian wolf, stuffed inside a specially
bred carnivorous wildebeest, stuffed inside a lion. All hand-reared free-range
on the estate mind, so there should be no trouble from the demmned animal
rights lobby. Sounds delicious, don't it?
Of course, Wrath Towers houses more than its fair quota of those of the
vegetarian persuasion, arty types and so forth, so a selection of seasonal
vegetables will be provided from our extensive allotments for the bleating
Now then, I know many of you have been eagerly awaiting news appertaining
to the appointment of my new valet. Alas, the response has been cursedly
meagre. I can only ascribe this to the recent Trafalgar Day celebrations,
which rendered all suitable candidates blind drunk on grog for the entire
I did receive a brace of solicitous letters of introduction, but I gave
the blackguards short shrift, I can tell you . "Dear _, why the hell
aren't you blind drunk on grog, you snivelling miscreant?" That's
the ticket for soup!
By the same token, vague word reached me as to the signing of new talent
to the formidable Wrath roster.
The Piskie Sits? The Playmates? Unfortunately, I've yet to make their
acquaintance either, and I'll tell you why...
Upon hearing that the cheque book was open, I at once seized upon the
notion of having a crack at the old tinpan alley malarkey off me own bat,
so to speak. I've picked up a few tips vis a vis the music game in my
tenure as benign autocrat here at the Towers, so I thought I'd put quill
to parchment and whip up a quick redondilla or two, perhaps a nice quartorzain
incorporating a crafty curtal sonnet as a middle eight - you know the
type of thing. So, picture the scene as I reclined at my mahogany bureau
in the scriptorium, duly composing, when in saunters Paul Morricone.
"What ho, Shuteye" says he," what the devil are you about?"
"Strange to relate," says I, " I was just working on my
new foray into the shady realms of the popular music milieu."
"Indeed?" says he, a derisive smirk fleeting across his carrot
munching jaw. "Pray, give us a brief recitation."
"My pleasure. Ahem:
"Here comes Morricone
He's a bumpkin Macaroni.
He's the leader of the band,
With a turnip in his hand
And a face like guaca...oof!!!"
Still - quality linen here in the infirmary, and some deuced attractive
nurses to boot. Just the job until I get some decent applicants for the
man servant post.
Japes Of Wrath - Aug
Japes Of Wrath - July
Japes Of Wrath - July
Japes Of Wrath - Apr
Japes Of Wrath - Feb04
Japes Of Wrath - Jan